We are one month into the school year, which means we have already had three fundraisers. And two more are scheduled to start in the next two weeks. And while I did buy way too many books at the Book Fair (and wished Averi was old enough for the Babysitter Club books that were there), I did not participate in the other fundraisers. Nor do I plan on participating in the upcoming two.

If only we could send out that form that is going around Facebook where people donate money based on how little they want to participate.

Not only is it awesome, but I calculated that based on the number of kids at our school, if everyone gave $50 per kid, we would raise over $50,000.

Now, I get why the PTA doesn’t want to do that. If all the money was raised in the first week of school then what would the PTA do with their time and need for power? And more importantly, how would we get our Bravo Money Funders spin off?

But this morning I thought of the perfect fundraiser. It is easy, will get us lots of money, and will give the PTA total power over others.

I thought of it when dropping Averi off at school. I had gotten into the right hand drop off lane. In case the name, which is on signage and painted onto the lane, isn’t clear – this is where you drop off your kid.

This IS NOT where you park your car, get out of it and walk your kid in. And as the numerous emails and hand out sheets received regularly tell you (as should common sense), this is also not where you as the driver get out of the car, and open the driver side rear door to let your kid out into traffic.

Because the lane next to the drop off lane is the pull through lane. Which is also clear by the signage and paint on the lanes.

So cars are continually driving through to leave the area. And when you open your driver side doors, and let a kid jump out, you are doing that right next to a moving car.

Except when the car isn’t moving. Which happens regularly when people decide they don’t want to wait in the drop off lane and instead just stop in the pull through lane, and get out of their car to let their child out, who then bounds through the drop off lane, where cars are continually pulling in and out of.

This is very dangerous to begin with, but when you combine it with fact that one of those cars is driven by me, and I don’t like some of the kids at the school thanks to my cafeteria time, you are just playing with fire. 🙂

So, how do rude drivers who don’t follow rules and annoy me tie in to a fundraiser? And giving the PTA power? Easy. I propose we start fining the drivers who annoy me (and other members of the PTA, who I am sure are all rule abiding people). My fine structure is as follows:

– $20 to cars who stop in the pull through lane. They obviously must be Miami Level Trophy Wives and the husbands who can have Miami Level Trophy Wives, hence why they are unable to follow basic rules or wait an extra 2 minutes. They can afford $20. In fact, maybe we should make it $50.

– $5 per kid who is let out of car on driver side, versus sidewalk side. It should be more since its a kid, but since the parent obviously doesn’t value them, what can you do?

– $1 per driver who gets out of their car in the drop off lane. I know its a low amount, but I kind of want to keep them doing it, as I enjoy driving really close to them and scaring them. 🙂 So $1 is a win – the school will collect lots of fees, and I can still be passive aggressive.

Oh! We also need to fine all the people who try to park in the permit only area. They are not me, and do not deserve such an awesome spot. $50 for encroaching on my personal space. Extra $100 fee if they harass the parking enforcement guy who tells them to move, or if they try to get me in trouble by pointing out my car to him. The parking enforcement guy can keep that $100, as trust me, he earns it.

So, done. My brilliant plan will either make kids safer, earn the school money, prevent me from harming someone, and/or further ensure that the parking enforcement guy is on my side. Either way, someone wins. 🙂

This does not tie in at all to the one thing I made this week, so I have no segway. I just wanted to share my genius fundraising idea, and my delicious Red Pepper Quinoa Patties. So, on to the food!

The original recipe, from how sweet it is, calls for cannellini beans. I did not have any, and used navy beans instead. I also changed the smoked paprika to regular paprika, because while I did actually have the smoked, it isn’t my favorite flavor.

I also did not have burger buns, so I served this over a bed of spinach instead. Then the next day I ate one cold for breakfast. Then that night I heated it up, served it with noodles and a garlic chili dipping sauce. Incredible. So many options to enjoy.

I also wanted to enjoy it precooked, because it looked so good.

Roasted Red Pepper and Quinoa Patties

15 oz navy beans

1/2 cup cooked quinoa

1/2 cup roasted red peppers, chopped

2 tbsp minced garlic

1 large egg, lightly beaten

1/2 cup bread crumbs

1/4 tsp dried basil

1/4 tsp paprika (smoked or regular)

1/4 tsp onion powder

1/4 tsp pepper

1/4 tsp salt

1 tbsp flour

3 tbsp olive oil

Rinse and drain the beans. Place in large bowl, and mash. Stir in quinoa, garlic, red peppers, bread crumbs, basil, paprika, onion powder, salt and pepper. Mix thoroughly.

Add in lightly beaten egg, mixing till moistened. Mix in flour.

Heat olive oil in pan. Divide quinoa mixture into four to six balls. Press flat, taking care to keep shape. Add to pan and cook for approximately 5 minutes per side, till golden on each side.

Serve on bun, over salad, with noodles, or any other way that makes you happy. Enjoy!